guyCarly

FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER: @BroTy_Manfood69


So you got Italian food over here, right?  Then you got Mexican food over here.  Imagine that those two foods "did the nasty" with each other without a Jimmie Hat, had a baby, and then decided to get that baby aborted.  That's what spaghetti tacos are like--in the best way.  That's what we're talking about today.


Couldn't find any recipes for spaghetti tacos in "conventional" cookbooks, so what better place to go than Mark Bittman's How to Cook Everything.  

Wasn't in there.

Even checked the "Completely Revised Tenth Anniversary Edition"  Nothing.  Mark Bittman can bite a dick.

fag.

Creepy ass taco shell box:

Lol

Step 1: Boil water and throw in the spaghetti.  Break it in half so it's not too long.  Look, if you don't know how to make spaghetti your ratarded.

My GAY friend is washing his hands like a homo. What a jewqueen.

OH OH OH OHHHHHHH ACKGHHH!

Threw the pedobear taco shells in the oven for a few minutes for extra crispiness.

This "Newman" dude has bitch hands.

So I guess step 2: We just mixed the spaghetti, ground beef and spaghetti sawce 2gether.

Then, insert the spaghetti mix into the taco sleeve.

(shocker)

Disease-ridden vag.

I like to use this stuff the same way I use a Jimmie Hat: It feels better without it, but sometimes it's just safer.  

(I've totally had sex before.)

Thanks 2 iCarly and Spencer for inventing/popularizing the spaghetti taco.

Manbitch

It's been a while since my last post.  Don't worry though, I didn't leave ya'll, I've been busy getting hella swole and fucking bitches.  I honestly don't know which I've worked out more: my delts or my dick.

Holla.

This is my chill-as-fuck little bro.  He likes his olive oil just how he likes his women: super oily and extra virgin. LOL

N E ways, it's sloppy Joes today.

You will need:

1 lb ground beef

1 can Manbitch (Manwich lol)

Unh

Circumcise that shit! 

(Open the can using a can opener)

Uhhhhh unhhh ohhh ooooo GOD ahhhhh UNNHHHHHHH.

Step 1: Cook some hamburger meat.

Step 2: Pour the Manbitch on the meat.

Step 3: Stir

Step 4: Chug a 4 Loko (JK haha)

It's like, 100% good for your health and mabattoslim too cuz it has a full serving of vegetables.

Roasted up some potatoes and onions....no...joke. 

 Heated up some apple cider juice and threw some cranberries in there.  No homo.

Applesawce^

Dining Out

Listen up, douchefags.  I'm a lil low on dough (and I mean money, not cookies) so I'm gonna teach you all an alternate way to snag some free chow.

Dumpster Diving


I know you're probably all like, "SICK, DUDE! I'm not gonna eat garbage!" Just stfu for a sec and hear me out. If you can't SEE the germs/bacteria/mold/maggots, it's probably not there.  Sack up and live a little.  Remember--I'm saving your broke ass money.

Best places to find dumpster food:

• Pizza Hut
• Petco-They're always throwing away expired Friskies cat food (hint: that shit never actually goes bad.)
• Nursing Homes (especially on macaroni Wednesday)
• Democrat Party Headquarters
• Vietnamese BBQ (This is for dog lovers)
• PacSun Outlet-They don't usually have much food, but I found this chill ass DC tee there a few days ago

Here's how it's done, son:

This one looks promising...

OH PHAT.  Some nuggets.  Chicken I think...

Damn, this is some dank nug.  They're all soggy and cold n shit.  Probably pretty nasty, which is why it's important to keep some packets of honey mustard on you at all times.  You can usually snatch these from Micky Ds or a gas station.  They'll look at you funny, but it's fucking free.  They can't do SHIT.

....

LOL

No Homo

Alright, the blogosphere is going fucking nuts over my new food blog, but I've gotten like 653 gmails from dudes who don't really "get it."  I just want to clarify: fuckingmanfood.blogspot.com is NOT about "fucking men."  I mean, I got nothing against gay dudes.  If you're gay, that's your choice.  I ain't gonna tell you how to live your life.  Just don't hit on me or anything.

Also, just wanna point out that the omelet I made last night was for DINNER, not breakfast.  Why?  Because I don't give a fuck, that's why.  Straight up.

Today I decided to whip up one of my all time favs - CEREAL.

My Mom bought me this pussy ass health cereal that tastes like sawdust/gerbil shit, but it's all I got right now.  Feel free to replace with some Crunchberries or Reeses Puffs.

You'll also notice that I'm using organic milk.  It's good for the environment or some shit.  I mean, I'm a fucking man, but I'm also like, sensitive and care about issues and deep shit like that.  

Although if you're a girl and you're reading this, you should probably use regular, non-organic milk (the hormones make your titties bigger.  [high fives, bros]  It's scientific fact.)  Also, if you're a girl, I'm not sure what you're doing here anyway.  The hos over at http://cookincutiez.blogspot.com/ have more cutesy rainbows and makeup and shopping and unicorn shit that you all like.  I've never really been there, I'm just assuming that's what it's like.

Step 1: Pack the bowl. (via potsmoking lol)

Pour your Froot Loops or Lucky Charms into the bowl.

Step 2: Milk that bitch

Pour your milk (girls remember: non-organic...titties) into the bowl.

FUCK I spilled.  

Got hella pissed and punched this wall.  Turns out spilling milk isn't that big of a deal, but can you blame me?  How the fuck was I supposed to know that?

http://cookincutiez.blogspot.com

Suck it. I mean eat shit. I mean eat the shit that I take pix of.

I know how to make food, too.  I also know how to take pictures of it.  I also know how to use the internet.  I don't believe in recipes.  They are for the weak.  Everything I do in the kitchen is pure experimentation (like your mom LOL.)  If you don't understand something I post here, tough, bro.  Figure it out.  That's how you learn.  Suck it up, a-hole.  

There are no "cutiez" allowed.  THIS IS MANFOOD.

So here's an omelet or whatever.

There's a buncha shit in there, like sauteed spinach/mushrooms, a super fresh-ass tomato, and some colby jack cheese.  Three eggs - because I ain't no two-egg pussy.

Oh yeah.  Roasted some little potatoes too.  Cut 'em up all tiny and shit, mixed 'em up in a gallon zip lock with olive oil, salt, pepper, and ground cayenne pepper.  Threw that shit in the oven on 425 for about 25 minutes...so fucking crisp and delicious.

^^^^^DrugsLOL

And yeah, that's an english muffin I threw in the toaster.  

Fuck you.

LOL